‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com

I hope everyone’s having a great summer! This month I’m answering a question that I’ve received from several of my readers. About losing touch with a good friend that has either moved far away or friends that don’t see each other anymore after many years of friendship. I’m also enclosing a poem from my first book. I wrote this poem many years ago, when one of my dear friends moved out of state & the distance between us had changed our friendship. We lost touch. I’m also answering a couple of questions from readers that wished to remain anonymous. Several male readers wrote that they ‘miss’ their buddies from college or their neighbors or whoever they were friends with after years of hanging out together. Try not to be sad that the friendships have ended. People come in & out of your life for a reason. They will always hold a special place in your heart. Treasure the times you shared together with your buddy/friend. Always remember the good times. Move forward, meet new friends & start new friendships.

Dear Friend

I miss you dear friend wherever you are,

You lived so close and now you are so far.

I cannot understand why it had to end.
We were so close, you were my best friend.

The talks we had, the times we shared,
You were always there and you really cared.

There were times we hurt each other and didn’t talk. It wasn’t right.
I’d still give anything to see you again for one night.

We enjoyed movies, clubs and danced the night away.
Oh, how I miss you dear friend today.

If I only knew how much I’d miss your smile,
Oh, If I could see you again for awhile.

I remember how we talked for hours and laughed so hard we cried,
The tears won’t subside. I miss you dear friend, a part of me has died.

That part of me only you knew my friend.
A part of me I never shared with anyone ever again.

This year has been so long..
Our friendship ending was so wrong.

Could we ever go back to what we had?
I’m heartbroken and so terribly sad.

Though we’re not talking, you’re forever in my heart.
This way, I know we’ll never be apart.

Dear Debbie Sue: I’m dating a guy for a few months that I thought I could have a serious relationship with. We have a lot in common. I like sports. We play basketball together & go to sporting events together. The issue is, he has a cell phone ‘problem.’ He keeps looking at his phone while we’re out having dinner or anywhere. While he’s at my apartment watching a baseball game, or sitting together, he keeps staring at his phone. He’s always answering his e-mails & his phone calls. I’ve talked to him about it. He holds my hand while we’re out doing different activities. He has one hand on mine & one hand holding his phone & looking at it. He tells me he has to keep looking at his phone. It’s a habit & he can’t seem to put his phone down. Feels like I’m in competition with a phone. It’s almost as bad as if he was cheating on me & dating someone else on the side. What should I do? I’m ready to give up on this relationship. Signed.. Hung Up.

Dear Hung Up: Tell him you want to talk to him ‘face to face’ without his phone on. Tell him to turn the phone off & look at you while you’re talking. Unless he has a job that requires him to answer his phone all day & night, then there’s no reason for him to constantly be looking at his phone & answering calls. I’ve written several columns about, ‘Cell Phone etiquette.’ Writing e-mails, texting, answering calls while you’re on a date is extremely rude. You’re not giving the other person your full attention. If your date can’t change his behavior. Then definitely consider ‘hanging up’ on this relationship. It won’t be hard to find someone that will give you their ‘full attention.’ Good luck to you!

Dear Anonymous: If you’re girlfriend keeps talking to waitresses in a rude manner, you need to talk to her about this. You say you’ve been dating her for 5 months & you’re only comfortable eating dinner with her at your home because of her rudeness towards waiters & waitresses. If you can’t eat out comfortably with her in various places besides your home, then consider finding a new girlfriend that you can be comfortable with. It sounds like you’ve talked to her about this behavior & she’s told you she’s not changing the way she speaks to waiters in restaurants. I went on a few dates with a guy when I was in my 20’s that spoke horribly to the waiters everywhere we ate. I left the waiters a very large tip. I felt so bad for them that I went back into the restaurant the following day to apologize for my dates behavior. I never gave him a 4th date. You should do the same. If your girlfriend can’t treat waiters & waitresses with respect, then look for a nice gal that will. Good luck to you!

Until next time… ‘Keep Smiling!’

Debbie Sue

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