‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com

I hope everyone is having a nice month. Time flies by so fast. Summer is almost over already. The weather is cooling down. I’ve been keeping busy. I’m very honored to be nominated for, ‘Best Comedian’ for an ‘Oscars-related’ event on December 1, 2019!

I am very lucky to have wonderful male & female friends in my life. I’ve been getting numerous letters from my readers asking for ideas on how to find ‘Mr.’ or ‘Miss Right.’ For anyone that doesn’t want to try online dating, there are other ways to try to meet that special someone. Perhaps joining a Meet-up group with others that have the same interests you have. If you like playing board games, join a group that plays board games. If you like playing volleyball, join a group that plays Volleyball. There’s probably a Meet-up group for any hobby you enjoy. Even if you don’t find a partner to share your life with, it can be a fun way to meet new friends too. At my comedy appearances and author events everyone in the audience is always so friendly and they tell me about their dating experiences. Some married couples tell me how they found that ‘special someone’ to spend their life with. In my comedy show, Besides doing my celebrity impressions, I talk about different humorous dating experiences & fun ways to meet someone. The following date is from my first book. (When pay phones were still around.)

I found out you can meet a date in unusual places. For instance, I was standing in line at my local post office, minding my own business when the guy in front of me turned around. He was holding a bunch of envelopes. He said, “With a face like that, I feel like I can tell you anything.” He said, “I’m going to tell you everything.” He continued, “I lost my last four jobs, yep they fired me. I’m mailing out six resumes and my car was re-possessed.” So, I gave him my phone number. Not sure why, he looked like a nice guy. He called me up the next day and I heard a strange noise in the background. It sounded like a washer and dryer. Sure enough, he said, “I’m calling you from the local Laundromat, on a pay phone. They took my phone away. I only have a minute to talk because I’m running out of change. But, I’d like to take you out on a date… For a WALK!” I replied, “A WALK?! I don’t do things like THAT on the first date…

To the reader that asked to be anonymous: You say the guy you’ve been dating for a month is criticizing your clothes, your hair & your shoes every time you go out with him? He showed you photos of his ex & wants you to wear the same style clothes & have the same hair style? He’s telling you to change your hair color? First, you didn’t mention if you ever asked him why he’s criticizing everything you wear & your hair. It sounds like he’s trying to ‘change’ you. You said he’s divorced & he mentioned his ex-wife several times since you’ve been dating him. It sounds like he’s trying to turn you into his x-wife. From everything you’ve said, it’s very apparent that this guy clearly is not over his ex. The best advice I could give you is to speak to him about his behavior. Tell him you’re not changing your style for him or anyone. He needs to like you just the way you are. If he can’t change this pattern of behavior then it’s best for you to move on. There are plenty of guys out there that will enjoy your company & not want to ‘change’ you into something or someone you’re not. Good luck to you!

Until next time.. Have a wonderful week and “Keep Smiling!”

Debbie Sue

October 26, 2019- Join Debbie Sue & her friends for a fun, ‘Pre-Halloween’- Evening of Comedy & Music.’ At: Euro Echo Café 7919 Lincoln Ave in Skokie. No cover charge (Costumes Optional)

‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com

Happy Holidays! I hope everyone is keeping warm in this horrible arctic weather. I can’t wait until springtime. I had quite a few letters & questions from my readers about what to do when dating someone that doesn’t have much to say. What can you do when you’re out with someone that isn’t a conversationalist? If it’s a first meeting- Perhaps they are nervous or shy? Well, You can continue on with the date and see if he or she ‘opens up’ and talks a bit more or you can end the date. This reminds me of a guy I went out with when I was in my twenties. I met him at a singles function. He didn’t say too much. He asked me out to dinner. I met him at the restaurant. This was a man of a ‘few words.’

We met inside the restaurant and were seated quickly. We looked over the menus and ordered our meal. He said, ‘This menu has FINE foods.’ The waitress brought our food. While eating he said, ‘You dressed very FINE.’ I told him he dressed nice too. We didn’t have a lot in common and didn’t have any of the same interests. He didn’t enjoy going to movies or the theatre. I told him that I enjoy going to the health club and taking long walks. I asked if he enjoyed working out or taking walks. He said, ‘No, I’m FINE.’ He continued, ‘The pasta is FINE. The bread is FINE.’ He said, ‘We’ll go skiing next weekend! Though you don’t like skiing, you’ll be FINE.’ I didn’t have a chance to answer. He continued, ‘We’ll go to a movie. It’s a FINE night.’ I finally got a sentence in. I said, ‘I’d rather just go home.’

He asked, ‘Is a date next Friday FINE?’ I replied, ‘That’ll be FINE…’

I actually ended up staying friends with him. It shows that sometimes you need to give someone a chance, even though the first date didn’t turn out so good.

_______________

Dear Debbie Sue: ‘I’m dating a man for three weeks that doesn’t have much to say. We met at work, he asked me out. He’s quiet, handsome and I was attracted to him immediately. We hardly speak at work. Thought I’d give it a try. He’s sweet. I wish he would talk more so I could get to know him better. On the date, I asked if he likes his job, he answered, ‘It’s ok.’ I asked if he likes home cooked dinners. He responded, ‘They’re ok.’ I asked if he likes soft-rock music, He said, ‘It’s ok.’ I asked if he likes dancing. He said, ‘sometimes ok.’ He has nothing to say but he’s kind. Should I continue to date him or look for a man I can have a conversation with?’ Sign me: OKAY

Dear OKAY: This guy is handsome, but can’t hold a conversation? Ask him if he’s nervous or shy and see what he says. If after dating him a few weeks he’s still speaking in one or two word sentences, that might just be his true personality. You can’t make someone be a conversationalist if they’re not. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t ‘open up’ more, then perhaps you should move on. You sound like an outgoing woman & you need someone you can communicate better with. There are plenty of men out there that will like to converse and get to know you. You’ll be happier dating one of them.

In reply to my reader that would like to remain anonymous: If the man you’re dating for a few months is telling you to dress a certain way, wear your hair a certain way & speak a certain way, then he is trying to change you. You say he’s also telling you which friends you should go out with & what you should eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner? He’s definitely trying to ‘control’ you & every move you make. This is not a healthy relationship. The reason you’re questioning it & asking if you should continue to date him, is because you know in your heart, this is not the right man for you. Have respect for yourself. You should end the relationship. You’ll find a man that will love you just the way you are & not try to ‘change’ you. Join a singles group or do activities you enjoy & the right man will come along.

Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling…’ Happy New Year!

Debbie Sue