‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman


I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer. Every week I receive many e-mails from readers that have asked questions about, how to search for the right man or woman to date. I find that if you’re engaging in activities you enjoy, Mr. or Miss Right may be there enjoying the same activities. Go dancing, skiing, bowling, golfing- whatever you’re interests are and perhaps your soul mate will be there. If not, at least you’re doing something that you enjoy. In my comedy shows I sometimes talk about some unusual dates my mom went on when she became a widow. She has been deceased for over 5 years now. Her spirit & her love is in my heart forever. I miss her so much & I think about all the things she shared with me. When she tried dating after being a widow for many years, she went on some humorous dates. She went out with one guy that met her & he was wearing green slacks, green shirt, green tie, green socks & ordered green tea!

Many years ago, I had a date with a guy I met at the health club. This date is also included in my book, ‘Still Dating.’ I found out you can meet someone single, in a fun way. I enjoy walking and working out every day.

I met a guy while walking the track at my health club. We made plans to meet for dinner at a restaurant in a shopping mall.

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‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman


Happy Holidays! I hope everyone is keeping warm in this horrible arctic weather. I can’t wait until springtime. I had quite a few letters & questions from my readers about what to do when dating someone that doesn’t have much to say. What can you do when you’re out with someone that isn’t a conversationalist? If it’s a first meeting- Perhaps they are nervous or shy? Well, You can continue on with the date and see if he or she ‘opens up’ and talks a bit more or you can end the date. This reminds me of a guy I went out with when I was in my twenties. I met him at a singles function. He didn’t say too much. He asked me out to dinner. I met him at the restaurant. This was a man of a ‘few words.’

We met inside the restaurant and were seated quickly. We looked over the menus and ordered our meal. He said, ‘This menu has FINE foods.’ The waitress brought our food. While eating he said, ‘You dressed very FINE.’ I told him he dressed nice too. We didn’t have a lot in common and didn’t have any of the same interests. He didn’t enjoy going to movies or the theatre. I told him that I enjoy going to the health club and taking long walks. I asked if he enjoyed working out or taking walks. He said, ‘No, I’m FINE.’ He continued, ‘The pasta is FINE. The bread is FINE.’ He said, ‘We’ll go skiing next weekend! Though you don’t like skiing, you’ll be FINE.’ I didn’t have a chance to answer. He continued, ‘We’ll go to a movie. It’s a FINE night.’ I finally got a sentence in. I said, ‘I’d rather just go home.’

He asked, ‘Is a date next Friday FINE?’ I replied, ‘That’ll be FINE…’

I actually ended up staying friends with him. It shows that sometimes you need to give someone a chance, even though the first date didn’t turn out so good.


Dear Debbie Sue: ‘I’m dating a man for three weeks that doesn’t have much to say. We met at work, he asked me out. He’s quiet, handsome and I was attracted to him immediately. We hardly speak at work. Thought I’d give it a try. He’s sweet. I wish he would talk more so I could get to know him better. On the date, I asked if he likes his job, he answered, ‘It’s ok.’ I asked if he likes home cooked dinners. He responded, ‘They’re ok.’ I asked if he likes soft-rock music, He said, ‘It’s ok.’ I asked if he likes dancing. He said, ‘sometimes ok.’ He has nothing to say but he’s kind. Should I continue to date him or look for a man I can have a conversation with?’ Sign me: OKAY

Dear OKAY: This guy is handsome, but can’t hold a conversation? Ask him if he’s nervous or shy and see what he says. If after dating him a few weeks he’s still speaking in one or two word sentences, that might just be his true personality. You can’t make someone be a conversationalist if they’re not. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t ‘open up’ more, then perhaps you should move on. You sound like an outgoing woman & you need someone you can communicate better with. There are plenty of men out there that will like to converse and get to know you. You’ll be happier dating one of them.

In reply to my reader that would like to remain anonymous: If the man you’re dating for a few months is telling you to dress a certain way, wear your hair a certain way & speak a certain way, then he is trying to change you. You say he’s also telling you which friends you should go out with & what you should eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner? He’s definitely trying to ‘control’ you & every move you make. This is not a healthy relationship. The reason you’re questioning it & asking if you should continue to date him, is because you know in your heart, this is not the right man for you. Have respect for yourself. You should end the relationship. You’ll find a man that will love you just the way you are & not try to ‘change’ you. Join a singles group or do activities you enjoy & the right man will come along.

Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling…’ Happy New Year!

Debbie Sue