‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

Debbies mom

Debbie Sue and her mom, Lois. Debbie’s book “Still Single” is dedicated to her mom.

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com

I hope everyone is having a good spring even though the weather feels like it’s still winter. I hope it warms up soon. I do enjoy the 60’s & 70’s type of weather though. This month’s column is dedicated to my beautiful Mom who passed away 5 years ago. I can’t believe how fast time flies by. The photo on the top of this column was always one of my favorite photos of my Mom & I. It was taken on Mother’s Day several years ago when we went out for brunch. I’m enclosing a poem I wrote to my Mom many years ago. It’s also included in my first book, ‘Still Single.’ It’s called,

My Mom My Angel

How can I thank you for always being there?
To offer your special, sweet loving care.
You are always around,
To put a smile over my frown.
You ease my heartache and troubles by talking them out,
You always know what I’m worried about.
My Mom My Angel, you show your love in such a special way, I want to thank you my Angel, if I may.
For the kindness & caring you show me each day.
For the loving things you do and say.

Everyone loves your class and grace, your charity and beauty, the kind of lady little girls want to be. As a Mom and friend you are so kind, giving sharing and loving, people can see, I’m your daughter and so proud to be!

My Mom my Angel, you show your love in such a special way, I want to thank you my Angel if I may. For the kindness and caring you show me each day, for the loving things you do and say.
My Mom, a lady so special, so sweet, you won my heart. You are my life, it’s true,

As a gift, If I could, I’d wrap up all the love in the world and give it to you!

Happy Mother’s Day, My beautiful Mom, My Angel up in heaven.
I love you and miss you so much!

 

Dear Debbie Sue: ‘ My mom has been divorced for 10 years. She’s in her late 70’s. She met a man while she was getting her hair done at the beauty shop. He was getting a manicure. She invited him over for dinner one night & asked me to join them. She wanted me to meet him. She told me he was a bit older then her. I went to her condo for dinner & met him. He hardly spoke. He was a quiet man. He was shorter then my mom & hardly had any hair. He had sideburns. He looked much older then her. I’m very surprised my mom would be attracted to a man like this. He’s much different then my dad was. She really likes him. They’ve been dating about a month now. Should I say anything to her about my feelings? I’m worried she may end up in a serious relationship with this man. Please sign me: Worried about momma.

Dear Worried: From what it sounds like, there’s really no reason to be worried about your momma. She’s a grown woman that can make decisions on her own. It’s up to her to decide who she wants to spend her time with. It sounds like she enjoys this mans company & he sounds like he’s a good man for her to date. If they don’t wind up in a ‘serious relationship’ at least your momma has a nice companion to hang out with. Don’t compare him to your dad. Every man is unique in their own way. Be happy for her & let her enjoy this mans company. She’ll always be your mom. I’m sure she would want you to be happy for her just like she would want you to be happy in your own life too.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!

Until next time…

Keep Smiling!
Debbie Sue

‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com

Happy Holidays! I hope everyone is keeping warm in this horrible arctic weather. I can’t wait until springtime. I had quite a few letters & questions from my readers about what to do when dating someone that doesn’t have much to say. What can you do when you’re out with someone that isn’t a conversationalist? If it’s a first meeting- Perhaps they are nervous or shy? Well, You can continue on with the date and see if he or she ‘opens up’ and talks a bit more or you can end the date. This reminds me of a guy I went out with when I was in my twenties. I met him at a singles function. He didn’t say too much. He asked me out to dinner. I met him at the restaurant. This was a man of a ‘few words.’

We met inside the restaurant and were seated quickly. We looked over the menus and ordered our meal. He said, ‘This menu has FINE foods.’ The waitress brought our food. While eating he said, ‘You dressed very FINE.’ I told him he dressed nice too. We didn’t have a lot in common and didn’t have any of the same interests. He didn’t enjoy going to movies or the theatre. I told him that I enjoy going to the health club and taking long walks. I asked if he enjoyed working out or taking walks. He said, ‘No, I’m FINE.’ He continued, ‘The pasta is FINE. The bread is FINE.’ He said, ‘We’ll go skiing next weekend! Though you don’t like skiing, you’ll be FINE.’ I didn’t have a chance to answer. He continued, ‘We’ll go to a movie. It’s a FINE night.’ I finally got a sentence in. I said, ‘I’d rather just go home.’

He asked, ‘Is a date next Friday FINE?’ I replied, ‘That’ll be FINE…’

I actually ended up staying friends with him. It shows that sometimes you need to give someone a chance, even though the first date didn’t turn out so good.

_______________

Dear Debbie Sue: ‘I’m dating a man for three weeks that doesn’t have much to say. We met at work, he asked me out. He’s quiet, handsome and I was attracted to him immediately. We hardly speak at work. Thought I’d give it a try. He’s sweet. I wish he would talk more so I could get to know him better. On the date, I asked if he likes his job, he answered, ‘It’s ok.’ I asked if he likes home cooked dinners. He responded, ‘They’re ok.’ I asked if he likes soft-rock music, He said, ‘It’s ok.’ I asked if he likes dancing. He said, ‘sometimes ok.’ He has nothing to say but he’s kind. Should I continue to date him or look for a man I can have a conversation with?’ Sign me: OKAY

Dear OKAY: This guy is handsome, but can’t hold a conversation? Ask him if he’s nervous or shy and see what he says. If after dating him a few weeks he’s still speaking in one or two word sentences, that might just be his true personality. You can’t make someone be a conversationalist if they’re not. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t ‘open up’ more, then perhaps you should move on. You sound like an outgoing woman & you need someone you can communicate better with. There are plenty of men out there that will like to converse and get to know you. You’ll be happier dating one of them.

In reply to my reader that would like to remain anonymous: If the man you’re dating for a few months is telling you to dress a certain way, wear your hair a certain way & speak a certain way, then he is trying to change you. You say he’s also telling you which friends you should go out with & what you should eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner? He’s definitely trying to ‘control’ you & every move you make. This is not a healthy relationship. The reason you’re questioning it & asking if you should continue to date him, is because you know in your heart, this is not the right man for you. Have respect for yourself. You should end the relationship. You’ll find a man that will love you just the way you are & not try to ‘change’ you. Join a singles group or do activities you enjoy & the right man will come along.

Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling…’ Happy New Year!

Debbie Sue