I hope all my readers are having a wonderful month. I’ve been keeping busy. The weather is starting to cool off. The 60’s & 70’s, fall-like temperatures have always been my favorite. In the next few columns, I’ll be enclosing some of my short stories, poems and excerpts from my three published books, ‘Still Single’ ‘Still Dating’ and ‘My Husband the Stranger.’ As most of you know, my first two books include humorous dating stories. ‘My Husband the Stranger’ is a novel based on a true story that is a drama. In this column I’m including a poem from, ‘Still Single.’
The first question is from my dear friend- Andre. He’s a model, actor and a very talented man.
Dear Debbie Sue: ‘What advice would you give to someone who is in the public eye and looking to date a non-celebrity and keep it private?’ Andre
Dear Andre: ‘I think there’s probably many celebrities that date a non- celebrity. Some even get married to a non-celeb. It’s very hard to keep a secret like that if you’re in the public eye & famous. You’d probably have to have a lot of meals at home. Can’t travel much or eat out now anyhow. But when we can travel they’d probably have to make up a reason they’re traveling together. For business or they’re ‘just friends.’ Sooner or later the truth comes out. It’s best to be honest & ‘open’ in a relationship and not try to hide it.’
I’ve had several letters through the years that readers have asked what to do if they’re dating someone that’s married. That’s a perfect example of having to ‘hide’ an affair or potential relationship. It’s always best to be true to your heart & your feelings. If someone wants to be in that type of relationship, they have to get used to constantly telling stories about where they’re going & what they’re doing. Although, sometimes that type of start to a relationship can occasionally work out, it’s usually best to start out on the right foot: by dating someone that is not married.
Dear Debbie Sue: ‘I’ve been seeing a married man for almost a year. We’ve worked together for a few years and our feelings have become more then we expected. I’m 19 years younger then him. I’ve never been married. I’m 32. I never thought my feelings would be hurt but every time he needs to be with his wife, I feel so sad. I live alone and my family doesn’t know I’m seeing a married man. I’ve only told a few close friends. I Know my parents wouldn’t approve of this relationship. I know it isn’t right to be with him but I don’t know what else to do. We’ve grown close and I spent many afternoons alone with him in my apartment. He said he still cares for his wife and he’s not ready to divorce her yet.’ Sign me: Undecided
Dear Undecided: It sounds like you’re definitely in a no-win situation. This is a perfect example of having to ‘hide’ an affair. It’s always best to listen to your heart. If you want to be in that type of relationship, you have to get used to constantly telling stories about where you’re going & what you’re doing. I believe you know in your heart the right answer. The man you’re dating is much older. You didn’t say if he has kids. You say, he isn’t divorcing his wife yet. All the red flags are showing you the answer. I understand you’ve worked together and have a close relationship but it isn’t making you happy. Think long and hard about what you truly want in this relationship. This man may never leave his wife. You’re hiding him from your family. You may never have a future with him. You may need to get a new job somewhere else. That would help you move on. I believe you know the right thing to do. Best of luck to you with your decision!
Here’s a poem from my book, ‘Still Single.’
Why did he have to die?
Why did he leave me feeling sad, rejected and mad?
Why am I always angry that he’s gone?
When I didn’t even sing him my song?
Why couldn’t he be with me on my birthday’s?
Or rainy, sunny or cheerful days?
Why do I think about him the way that I do?
Could it be because I want to tell him, ‘I love you.’
Until next time… Stay well and stay safe.’Keep smiling!