‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com

I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer. Every week I receive many e-mails from readers that have asked questions about, how to search for the right man or woman to date. I find that if you’re engaging in activities you enjoy, Mr. or Miss Right may be there enjoying the same activities. Go dancing, skiing, bowling, golfing- whatever you’re interests are and perhaps your soul mate will be there. If not, at least you’re doing something that you enjoy. In my comedy shows I sometimes talk about some unusual dates my mom went on when she became a widow. She has been deceased for over 5 years now. Her spirit & her love is in my heart forever. I miss her so much & I think about all the things she shared with me. When she tried dating after being a widow for many years, she went on some humorous dates. She went out with one guy that met her & he was wearing green slacks, green shirt, green tie, green socks & ordered green tea!

Many years ago, I had a date with a guy I met at the health club. This date is also included in my book, ‘Still Dating.’ I found out you can meet someone single, in a fun way. I enjoy walking and working out every day.

I met a guy while walking the track at my health club. We made plans to meet for dinner at a restaurant in a shopping mall.

We met inside the restaurant. He wore a BLUE shirt and BLUE jeans. We sat at a table, talked and waited for our food to arrive. He showed me his BLUE cell phone holder. He told me he bought a new condo. He put in BLUE carpeting. He painted his condo walls- BLUE. He talked during dinner about his condo. He asked if I would join him while he went to a store in the mall that carried kitchen items. I went with him. We entered the store and he yelled, “I see what I want!” I followed him. He pointed to BLUE silverware, BLUE plates, BLUE napkins and BLUE glasses. He bought everything!

While the salesgirl was putting the items in the bag he asked, “Where would you like to go now?” I replied, “How about a BLUES bar?”

Dear Debbie Sue: “This past month, I’ve been going out with a guy that keeps wearing the same dirty jeans, wrinkled dirty shirts and his car is a mess! He’s in his late 50’s. I’m younger then him. I like being with him and our conversations are good. But, I can’t stand his clothes. He doesn’t care about his appearance at all. Nothing matches. He doesn’t comb his hair. He takes a toothpick & picks at his teeth when we eat out. He burps loudly & has no manners. Yet for some reason, I still go out with him. I’ve dated other guys that cared about their appearance. They wore clean shirts & their car was clean. But, with those guys, I never enjoyed the conversations. I don’t understand why I’m dating this guy. He’s kind and seems to like me. He brings me flowers. He’s good to his family. Not sure what I should do. Should I break up with him and find a less sloppy guy?” Denise

Dear Denise: Through the years, I’ve had many readers ask me what to do if they’re dating a slob. Even men have asked me questions about what to do when they’re dating a sloppy woman. One guy went back to his date’s apartment & it was a total mess. It was a deal breaker for him. Sometimes, it’s best to give the relationship a chance. No one is perfect. You mentioned that you enjoy his conversations and his kindness. You don’t sound like you want to break up with him. But, on the other hand, you are upset about his hygiene, sloppy clothes & messy car. Perhaps you can give him a ‘hint’ and tell him you would like to see him in a ‘new’ shirt. Then, if he wears a nice clean shirt on your next date tell him you think he looks great. He’ll enjoy the compliment. Give him another ‘hint’ and suggest that he use floss in the men’s room instead of picking his teeth at the table. Ask him to say, ‘excuse me’ if he burps in front of you. You can tell him you both can go to the car wash together because you like a guy with a clean car. I think with these subtle ‘hints’ your new guy will come around and he’ll want to look good for you and make you happy. I would give this relationship a chance. Since it sounds like he cares for you a great deal.

Dear ‘Anonymous’: You said you have been dating your boyfriend for a year & he’s telling you ‘lies.’ You say he keeps secrets from you. It’s obvious, that he is not being honest with you. He comes home late from playing baseball with his buddies. He goes to bars on the weekends without you & comes home late. He calls you when he gets home in the middle of the night & you’re sleeping. It’s possible, he is seeing another woman. You’re in your early forties. He’s in his early twenties. The best thing to do would be to ask him if he’s seeing anyone else. Hopefully, he’ll be honest & tell you the truth. Perhaps he is afraid to tell you because he doesn’t want to lose you. If you still want to see him, you can always be his friend. If friendship isn’t enough for you with this guy, then say goodbye to him & move on. Good luck to you!

Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling!’

Debbie Sue

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